Sunday, March 18, 2012

Marble Falls "Gran Fondo"? or HCD Hunger Games?

In honor of the March 23, 2012 release of the Hunger Games, the club will temporarily assign cast members to club members.

The Hunger Games

Cast:
Peeta Mellark (Scheibs) — The male tribute for District 12, and a baker's son. Peeta is described as being medium height, strongly built and has ashy blonde hair. Not much to look at, but a survivor.

Rue (Badger)— The tribute from District 11. Small and lithe, you wouldn't assume that she could last long; but her knowledge of trees, plants, and hiding keeps her alive. She warns Katniss about the tracker jacker hive, and they later become allies. She is later murdered by the boy tribute from District 1, Marvel. Rue has dark eyes and is of African decent.

Cato (Bergamo)— District 2 tribute. Having prepared for the Games his whole life, he is described as a "ruthless killing machine", he is extremely strong and the most likely choice of a winner. He, Katniss, and Peeta were the last three tributes to face the mutated dogs with the other tribute's DNA. Unfortunately, Cato got bashed in the head with a rock.

Foxface (4fn) — Known by no other name, this red-head from District 5 is hard to catch. Though she doesn't have brute strength or knowledge of weapons, she can outsmart everyone in the arena. She made it to the final 4, then she dies by eating nightlock left out by Peeta. Described as having fox- like features, hence her name.

Thresh (Hoodie)— Male tribute from District 11. With the same brown skin and golden brown eyes as Rue, he is extremely resourceful and immensely powerful. His most notable act was that of sparing Katniss due to her alliance with Rue. He died shortly thereafter. (Probably due to lack of directional skills).

Glimmer (Ullrich) — The Female tribute from District 1 who is described as beautiful, tall, has Blonde hair and green eyes. She was part of the Career pack and was killed alongside the girl from District 4 when a hive of tracker jackers was dropped on the camp.

Glimmer showing off the goods

Effie Trinket (MC)- The District 12 escort, who was happy and bubbly. She wore many different colored wigs and helped Katniss and Peeta get sponsors in the Games. She constantly bickered and argued with Haymitch. Very proper, she hated it when people did not have proper etiquette.

Haymitch Abernathy (ME)— Haymitch is Katniss' and Peeta's mentor. He is drunk at almost any given time, with a glass in one hand and knife in the other. He drinks to forget the memories the 50th Hunger Games, which he was crowned victor of.  He won during the second Quarter Quell, where double the tributes were required to participate in this deadly game. A badass, scarred forever by his over-competitive nature.

HCD Hunger Games, or 2012 Marble Falls Gran Fondo

The Hunger Games were not as popular in Marble Falls as you might think, with only 45 participating Tributes. The morning of the Reaping was overcast. Moist with possibilities. The HCD Tributes selected for the HG brimmed with anticipation. Glimmer (Ullrich) spouted enthusiasm. Sporting shiny new shoes and kit, Glimmer was all form. But what about function? Nerves betrayed inner feelings however, as Glimmer backed the dumptruck up twice pre-ride. Cato showed off his new Jersey, proudly noting its clean "new kit feel". (This is foreshadowing). Peeta knew the value of nutrition in the Hunger Games. At every opportunity, he piled calories into his maw, storing for the impending struggle. Foxface appeared suddenly for the pre-ride photo, seemingly conjured out of thin air. Thresh sat tall on his 7, an air of confidence oozing from his chamois.Effie was effervescent as always, smiling and ready for the day. Haymitch was drunk. With anticipation.

The Games began at 8am. Great fanfare welcomed the group onto the course. Great, as in one fan exhorted the participants to greatness. Exhorted, as in that one fan drank a cup of coffee as we rolled by.


The Games began on familiar turf, as the HCD pulled the entire crew for the first 20 miles from Marble Falls to the first rest stop on Cypress Mill. Seeds of doubt were sewn into Glimmer's sports bra at the start, with a Heart Rate elevated to fever pitch. Glimmer would suffer greatly on the Fondo, but would survive. Cato, the killing machine ambled comfortably at the back of the pack after the first rest stop. Unfortunately, a hackerjacker got him in the eye, separating him from the rest. All alone, and wounded from the DNA-enhanced insect, he put the pedal to the metal (aluminum), frantically working back. It must have been the hackerjacker venom that blinded him from the water in the road. And the algae underneath the water. One second, he was humming at 26.9mph, the next he was body surfing on e-coli infested chip seal. So goes the Hunger Games.

The food provided was not Gran Fondo in quality or quantity. Our 2011 337 ride was supported far more luxuriously. And NO SAG wagon? Come on.

OK - back to the story...

At mile 70, Thresh lost his mind. Well, at least his way. Perhaps it was the Hill Country air? or the screaming descent on Lower Crab Apple? Maybe it was the gravitational pull of Enchanted Rock. Whatever the cause, He was never seen again. Another victim of the Hunger Games.

Like the end of the book, the surviving HCD  finished the MFGF anticlimactically. By the time the contest was completed, there were about 3 pieces of chicken, 2 pieces of brisket and 23 beans remaining for the HCD. The delay in completion can be attributed to the group's concern over Cato's grisly elbow combined with the disappearance of the big fella. Hence, the Hunger Games continued until I got home.


*(aren't we all badasses in our own narrative?)

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