Butter on Butter

"Butter on Butter!" My mantra du jour.

Today was the inaugural Firefly roll. For the small population of humans reading this, there may be an even more minute subset that did not know about my recent bike purchase. Picked up the Firefly on Friday, but the crazy schedule of a suburban white male in his mid 40's delayed our union until Sunday morning.**

Firefly you say? At this point you are likely grimacing at the image of me on a bike with banana seats and streamers flowing gently in the breeze. Not so! Firefly is a Boston upstart, sprung from the loins of the now omnipresent Independent Fabrication. When IF relocated from Boston to cheaper, more spacious digs in New Hampshire, some of the big talent opted for entrepreneurism, starting Firefly. My bike is #52 off the production line. If 3 guys can form a line.

Parts is Parts...

Why a new bike? This is likely your next question, particularly if you have seen my current rig. Pinarello Prince, carbon Edge dishes, Di2. No, it's not for sale. Crack in the driveside chainstay, near the dropout . This crack, plus Ullrich's unfortunate shipping tragedy, opened my mind's eye to a non-carbon option. I think the Prince can be saved, much like Ullrich's. The guys at Calfee are warlocks.*** But I fear uncertainty, and am afflicted in a bad way with the N+1 disease.* Much consultation with Brant (aka Magnum) led me down the Firefly path. Gotta say the aesthetics of the bike are very appealing. Makes me want to grow a beard, start wearing euro-knickers and quaff ristretto four times daily. Very Rapha-esque. Here is a pic of the Frame, for your viewing pleasure.

All of this lead-in, and you are still wondering how in the hell this relates to our post's tasty title. Patience.

White-knuckled it through a soccer game/UT football marathon on Saturday, avoiding brews in anticipation of Sunday's big roll. It was worth the sacrifice.

Tyler, me, Ullrich and Scheibs were joined my two guest riders (Jim and Melissa) for a 9am roll from 290 and Fitzhugh. 70 miler to break in the Fly. Weather? Well, it's snowing in Maine, flooding in Bangladesh, and getting dark at 2pm in Canada. But in the ATX, the weather is approaching nirvana. 50 degrees at the start. Ullrich went old school. Like a Packers offensive lineman. Well, given his weight loss, more like a linebacker. Maybe a strong safety. I digress.

Arm warmers and gloves. We lit out at 9am in controlled fashion. Ride plan was endurance. No outbursts. Time for the greyhound to saunter around the big circle. Unbelievably, this is how the roll actually shook out.

If you have been on Fitzhugh lately, you know it has some of the finest pavement in the county (whatever county it's in). On this stretch, the road-feel benefits of steel started to exhibit themselves. Steel connects you to the road, but in a smooth, strumming kind of way. I don't know how to explain it, other than saying that riding the Fly on those fly roads was like "Butter on Butter." There you have it. Long setup for little punch. Kinda like my power output.

PROJECTONE PLUG-
This was my first extended exposure to Scheib's new rig. ProjectOne with di2! All black. Ferris Buehler would say "It's so choice". And I would agree. Such a sweet ride! I love it Scheibs.

Other highlights of the day:

1. I think Tyler only rides when we go ultra. Always poor mouthing about his fitness, yet always there at the end.

2. Ullrich had a banner day. While the man is prone to superlatives, he insists this was indeed his "best ride ever!" Low rate, high avg mph. His training is really jumping forward. Well done today Ullrich!

3. I got outsmarted today when chased by an angry dog. Failing to successfully employ the "Perkins Maneuver",  actually had to outsprint the snarling, overly aggressive canine. My poor execution was likely due to the fact that I pulled 99% of the ride. Hard to find cover in the pack while up front.

4. Didn't get enough time with Melissa and Jim. Both rode very well, but decided to do the out and back, and we looped around 281 to Hamilton Pool. Hope you guys can make another ride!

5. Tailwind on 281 had us flying at 30+mph. Ullrich was at 120bpm. Sucking on my wheel, he assumed it was all tailwind. Think again bro.

6. On Cypress Mill, Tyler and I rode past a farmer that looked like he collects gimps. Scary. Glad we didn't flat. Or get stampeded by his cattle.

* See Velominati Rule #12  http://www.velominati.com/blog/the-rules/#12

**(Though I did get in some pre-ride spooning:)

***Carbonium Reparo!

What Have You Learned Grasshopper?

As some might know (and have heard ad nauseam), the coach has been training with a coach since January. Almost 10 months of pretty disciplined effort has yielded tangible improvement in both the numerator (power) and the denominator (weight). This may not interest you at all. If so, I urge you to get back to your Words with Friends game, or your Charles in Charge DVDs. This blog is self-indulgent, and kind of unapologetic about it.

To those that are curious, but tentative about making such a dramatic investment, in terms of time and/or Jack$on$, well, this article is for you. I have condensed the most important lessons learned in my near 11-months of structured coaching/scientific suffering.

Lesson #1: You Can Ride Smarter 
In 2010 I rode 4,500 miles.  While I have  increased my mileage in 2010 (5,000+ through 10/4), any gains I have made have been due to targeted training, not incremental hours in the saddle. And I think riding lighter for most (and heavier for some) is a huge driver.

Lesson #2: You Eat Like Shit
For 3 months (Jan-March) I tracked my caloric intake. Stunning how much worthless junk I cram into my maw. With a modicum of discipline, I was able to trim a lot of unneeded junk (late night drinking leads to eating leads to XL bibs).

Lesson #3: Keep Pedaling.
Coasting is the ultimate tell of the recreational cyclist. (Well, that and the sausage-wrap Radio Shack kit.) You got to keep pedaling, even on the downhill. Even after a big effort. Smooth cadence.

Lesson #4: And Pedal Faster.
Mashing potatoes is no way to ride. You gotta get that cadence up! Pre-2011, a typical roll averaged about 78-80rpm. Now, I am at 88-92rpm, and still need to improve.

Lesson #5: And Pedal Fasterer, (Even When You Are Recovering)
Junk watts. Those gaps in your ride that follow a big effort. They can't drop to zero. As the coach said, Pros don't do anything under 150W.

Lesson #6: Don't Talk About Your Power, Nobody Cares
Now that we are on the subject of watts, let's change the subject now.* Why? Because no one gives a damn. If they understand watts, they are either way stronger than you, in which case you look like an idiot. Or they are way below you, but able to dominate you on rides. They therefore lose respect for your ability to suffer.

If they don't understand watts, they think you are either a total dork, or a complete poseur. Or both.

Lesson #7: Every Ride is Not Meant to Be A Hammerfest
A further refinement of Lesson #1. This is a hard one to learn. In most non-endurance sports, you just go balls out. Training is totally different. There is a place for max efforts, no doubt. But the Greyhound must learn how to heel if he wants to be a show dog. Big efforts two days a week. The rest is all about expanding the tank.

Lesson #8: Downhill Intervals Are Not as Easy as You Think
At PedalHard, we workout on a computrainer. Preloaded workouts give you the ability to hit intervals far more crisply than on the road. Like in a science lab, except here I am actually interested in the experiment. Biggest pre-workout fallacy on the computrainer is that downhill workouts will be easy. Not so, young padawan. Perceived effort on the downhill skews toward more pain/less wattage. Holding high watts on a long drop brings great pain. This fallacy is dispelled after your first experience.

Lesson #9: Chamois Cream is Really Important
When you ride on a trainer, and your skin is as precious as mine, proper lubrication is advised. Just don't apply it in public.

See Tom Boonen's Vuelta experience for evidence of worst case scenario: 

http://www.universalsports.com/news-blogs/blogs/blog=shiftinggears/postid=553439.html

Lesson #10: Be Careful What You Ask For
Once training commences, there may come a time when you feel ready to graduate to a tougher regimen. This may be the result of actual gains. Or perhaps a fundamental lack of understanding the nuances of Lessons #1 or #7. Strongly consider these possibilities prior to calling for more Thunder from the coach.

Lesson #11: Everybody is Chasing Somebody
A learned cyclist (Magnum) has oft-repeated this phrase. Whether you admit it or not, there is someone out there you want to catch. Then crush. This may range from laughable pipe-dream to legitimate possibility on the morrow. Keep in mind that that person is also chasing someone. So catching him/her ain't gonna be easy. Maybe not even possible. If that's a problem I urge you to refer to Velominati Rule #5.

Lesson #12: You Cannot Replicate Race Conditions
If you are hoping to get race ready, or hang with that sort of peloton, prepare for some humility. Apparently, you can't train for that kind of suffering. You can run as many war games as you like. It is not the same as real battle conditions. On a scale vastly reduced as to danger, importance, and true meaning, racing is the same. At least that's what I have heard. And the hypothesis holds true. Guys that race seem to be able to hold longer anaerobic efforts, and bounce back faster.

Lesson #13: Sprinting Takes Some Coordination
Having had some sprint lessons from the coach, I am more like an accountant than I would freely admit. Sprinting (like climbing) requires some dancing on the pedals. In that category (and few others), I am much like Frankenstein. No Riddim.

Lesson #14: Cycling is Ultimately Personal**
Some people take to the bike, others like to dabble. And some think we are insane. Is there a right answer? Hell yes. If you don't love to ride, you are flawed. But we embrace you and your diversity. Just don't run us over. Bottom line. I have tried to hook others on the experience, and have been largely unsuccessful. So, encourage your friends to ride, but pestering them just makes you the jackass.

Lesson #15: Never Make a Team Video
Under no circumstances should you participate in the making of a glossy HD video about the excellence your cycling team. Unless you are at least a Continental Pro. Said participation will expose you to the scathing reprobations of the shaved leg set. This crowd is merciless. Perhaps because they never had the chance to star in a video. Or on a track. Maybe daddy didn't care. Who knows the reason. I just advise against it. With this here interweb, those videos will be around like, forever. Someday your grandkids will be laughing at you. (Don't) Do it for the kids.

So there it is. Advice freely given, but hard earned. Take it or leave it.

* inspired by Modest Mouse's "Missed the Boat" great tune. Also, this lesson was inspired by two things. First, my actual experiences. Second, by a Phil Gaimon article in VeloNews. It was hilarious. Here is the link:

http://www.velonews-digital.com/velonews/201103?pg=32#pg32

** This may have been mentioned in some Bike Snob post. If so, note that I totally agree with him

Solo October Rollers, or How to get a Big Tank

Best riding weather of the year in the ATX. Saturday plans were flummoxed by kid's soccer, prompting an audible. To get the best of both worlds, Tyler and I rode up to the game, logging a couple of hours in the saddle before watching some paint dry (0-0 draw). Missed the road cleanup crew this quarter, but looks like the team was more than up to the task.

Saw VJ on 620, styling on his new steed. Looked pretty comfortable Veej!

Sunday weather was excellent, if a little windy. I was tasked with a base-builder, 4-hour roll. Not too many times I have ridden that long on a solo mission, but today was one of those days. Did the full Aussie, plus the Lime Creek Loop. Riding by myself, I was able to minimize stoppage time. But did stop long enough to get a shot from atop the tres bichadas. Love that stretch.

Bombs Away!

Halfway through the ride I ran up on the wheel of a friend from the neighborhood. Coincidentally, he was doing his first Mod Oz, using a cue sheet I had given him 6 months ago. So I dialed it back (and talked him into a full Oz!). Good times.

When I got home, I noticed an email from MJ's with the following picture:

Steel. The new carbon.

Take out the papers and the trash!

Livestrong!

In our last big supported ride of the season, the Dough joined forces with Malo's Team Alden and Team AV/PedalHard to punch cancer in the face at the Livestrong Challenge. Dough roster included:

• Chuckie G
• Dan K
• Tim K
• Mauricio
• Malo
• Scheibs (on a sweet ProjectOne!)
• Yeti
• Kevin "Abraham" Lincoln
• Hoodie
• Ullrich
• Garreth
• New Recruit RJ
• Tyler
• Me

Also on the ride were Honorary Dough:

• Brant aka "Magnum"
• Colton "I Bet You Wish You Could Jar This"
• Stephan the Cowboy
• Paige
• KL - aka the Coach
• Lance - (who is always welcome at group rides, but has recently been too busy not realizing we exist)

Conditions were brutal for the ride. Brutal, if you prefer mud and rain and wind to perfection. Because it was perfect. Morning mist made the infield a little grimy, but Rey would scoff even at that. Let's face it, Rey would scoff at pretty much everything we do. But we love him anyway.

Back to the ride. Weather was perfect. We (Me, Ullrich, Hoodie, Tyler, Mauricio, Dan K, Garreth, RJ)chose the 90 mile loop, because we look for value in our entry fees. The pain/dollar ratio must be maximized, right? The remainder of the crew did shorter versions. Some for altruistic reasons (Yeti volunteering as a wrench), some for fitness (Tim is falling apart), some were just smarter (Malo's lowT has freed his brain from the rigeur of Rule#5). Their stories were not witnessed by me. However, the wonder of Facebook brings you these snippets:

Yeti's Update-
what a great event at LiveStrong today! Road well, and Kim and cousin Michael came out around noon for us to volunteer at the bike room....awesome stuff.

Malos Update-
Friend Karl  and I rode the 60 miler today at Livestrong Austin. Unbelievably beautiful day, perfect riding conditions. Happy to report I logged my fasted time ever averaging over 17 mph over the course. Shed many tears along the way - a large group wore jerseys with the "InMemoryOfAlden.com" logo (in pink - thanks JT) and I pretty much cried each time I saw one. Good day.

Colton's Update-

About to head out on the Livestrong Challenge with Team Pedal Hard! — with Magnum and 3 others

(coach and the CEO)

90 Milers-
Our first 30 miles were at somewhere between recovery and leisure pace. As far as charity rides go, I don't think I have ever been so controlled at the start. For this I blame two things. One, there were a million wingnuts in the pelo, and I was genuinely fearing for my safety. So I calmly let them pass me (a female bowling ball on wheels rolled past at one point, making me wonder if the laws of physics had been violated). It was great to just spin and shoot the sh$$t with the guys. We were in a PH paceline, led by KL and Colton. This is the second reason I controlled myself. If those guys were spinning easy, I would have looked like a jackass going off the front. Leave that to the Independent Bank squad. And those guys in the leopard skin kits. Not a good look fellas. Not good.

Despite the leadership, we somehow got separated from our parental supervision. I blame Hoodie. Mostly because I just want to. It was probably my fault. But, I am pretty good about forgiveness, particularly when it involves me as the perp. So, let's just let bygones go, and say we got carried away from mile 30 to mile 60.

In that timeframe, we hit some good hills and grabbed the wheel of some actual cyclists. Garreth and a 787 guy pulled the group apart on the hills between rest stops 5 and 6 (I think), where we gained some substantial elevation and averaged about 20.5mph. Some bad drivers on the road in that stretch. Tyler was clipped by a Truck's mirror, but able to stay up. He's that good ladies and gents. I guess the truck's owner loves cancer. What a douche.

After the fracas, we regrouped and took a leisurely spin from stop 6 to the finish, saying hello to the ever pleasant Shantelle and Annalisa at the final rest stop, and enjoying the Hill Country drought season.

At the finish I was treated to a Gatorade shower from Mauricio. Thanks dude.

You know you're thirsty when a Michelob Ultra tastes good. And it did post-ride. Some really good tacos as well. Abbreviated celebration, but fun nonetheless.

Great Ride fellas/Paige!