Tuesday, November 30, 2010

2011 Rides to Consider

2011  
Pedal thru Pines5-Mar-11Bastrop
Red Poppy16-Apr-11Georgetown
MS150April 16,17, 2011Houston
Hill Country Ride for AIDS30-Apr-11Spicewood
Shiner7-MayAustin
Armadillo Classic7-MayLiberty Hill
Real Ale21-MayBlanco
Napa Granfondo21-May-11 
LBJ10026-Mar-11Johnson City
Tour de CureJune 4, 5, 2011San Antonio
Atlas4-JunCedar Park
Harpoon18-JunBoston, MA
Copper Triangle6-Aug-11Colorado
Hotter n Hell21-Aug-11Wichita Falls
Enchanted Circle Century10-Sep-11Red River NM
Fort DavisSeptember 17, 18, 2011Fort Davis
Rip Roaring Ride24-Sep-11Liberty Hill
Livestrong16-Oct-11Dripping
HugelNovemberAustin
Wurst RideNovemberNew Braunfels

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Sunday Debrief - Circle C Shakeout

Crisp at the start, Me, Panozz, VJ, Hoodie and AT rolled a southerly route at shakeout pace. It was as uneventful as 40 miles could be, with the exception of a new Team Time Trial record on the Circle C Loop. This was not hard to achieve, as this was the first time we did a TTT. But, AT has a need to break records, so there you go.

VJ battled hard today, and is regaining his form. Panozz was trying to keep his pulse below 65, which meant we could generally keep him in our sights. Hoodie jumped off the front early, cementing his nickname. I was tenderized from the past four days, and not in any mood to jump up the pace.

Return climb up Barton Creek hill was as easy as it ever has been. Perhaps because I was going 4.6mph?

Next Saturday: Andice Roll! Who is interested?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Saturday Roll Debrief

Another Torvald roll this morning. Frost on the ground, and the cry of "Victory!!" was in the air as we rolled our fave 40-miler (Mod Aussie) at 8am from Lola. 26 degrees at the start, 58 degrees at the finish. Roll call: Tyler, Z, Ullrich, VJ, Panozz, VJ, Wulf/George Michael and Me.

It was a pretty standard roll. We spun Bee Cave without much effort, and started to engage the hammer (a bit) on 620. The Dam Hill separated the men (or man in this case) from the kids. We watched Panozz effortlessly disengage the Dough on Hill1, with Wulf giving chase. The Wulf popped atop that hill, leaving Mauricio by his lonesome, and the rest of us in various states of despair.

620 to Anderson Mill was good, but not as epic as a Hoodie-induced paceline. As we turned on Anderson Mill, Panozz went off the front, inducing my max wattage output on the day in order to bridge. Spicewood was phenomenal, notable for the pace and the presence of Ullrich, our quintessential cold weather Clydesdale. Only downer was the buzzing from the green-truck-jackass on the last hill at Spicewood. What a turd.

360 was a little too much for me today, but the post-ride machiatto was all the better for the effort.

Another 40 on the docket for tomorrow.UOD is black on black, according to Master Sergeant Ullrich...

http://connect.garmin.com/player/58088097

Friday, November 26, 2010

11/26 Nordic Track

Odin's raven soared south on Turkey day, carrying the winds of Njord* to the ATX, leaving the roads fit only for the nordsmen, the vikings and the polar bears. Ullrich, me, Hoodie and AT rolled a Viking special this am.

38 degrees at the start, we were fully bundled, with the exception of Ullrich, who rolled in shorts with embrocation. After making pleas to Fornjotr# for the appearance of Afrodull**, we headed west on Bee Cave for a Rough Hollow/Lakeway mini-loop. Battling Njord's forces the entire day, the group claimed refuge in the vortex of harmony created by Hoodie, a modern day Bergelmi@.

Ullrich played the role of Viking host, escorting us thru hill and dale of Lakeway. On the return trip, the Viking horde assailed the Francs, invading the French Bakery on Bee Cave. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued as we took our spoils (of double espresso and chocolate croissants) in a wanton fashion. (Wanton, in the sense that Hoodie was buying!). The natives were an odd lot, with the menfolk performing duties more suited for the finer sex. But then, who understands the French?

The last seven miles were rolled in somber silence, with pleas to Donar@@ for strength to complete our mission. Which we did.See y'all tomorrow!

References-




http://www.mythome.org/nordic.html


*Njord ( Niordhr, Njorthr, Niord ) Nordic god of the sea and of fire, winds, and riches (he is invoked to get riches).

# Fornjotr Germanic primeval giant, father of the elements.

**Alfrodull=Norse name of sun.

@Bergelmi=Norse primordial frost-giant
@@Donar =Teutonic god of thunder. Known to the Anglo-Saxons as Thunar or Thunor.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Ride Debrief - Turkey Day Wind Cheater 2010

We rolled at 7am on Turkey Day, with me, Ullrich, Hoodie, Lovell (now dubbed George Michael) and AT. Hoodie was in a Holiday mood as he pedaled into the parking lot. "Happy Thxgiving" was the greeting of the day for the Hoodster. He was like Bob Cratchett, if Bob had a southern accent, was 6' 6", on a custom bike and at thxgvng, not Christmas....Ok, maybe more like Buddy the Elf at the north pole. Goofy, supersized and super-enthused. Hoodie, you are awesome!

It was a true Doughboy roll today, with the exception of the bug-weighted George Michael, the Peloton comprised Clydesdales in lycra. So, did we do some hill route? Hillz No!
Winds from the south at 15mph sent us north on 360. It was a great choice, as we were above 20mph all the way to Jollyville. AT punctured on 360, and as a result we had a 30 minute kaffeeklatsch as he changed the tire (twice). As AT looks for gainful employment, he can cross Pit Crew off the list of potential career paths.

No more of note until we got to Shoal Creek and Great Northern, where we took a paceline opportunity, heading north on GN. right as we entered GN, some Violet Crown member bolted past us. Game on. Yours truly pointed the Dough North and hooked on the VC's wheel for a few cranks. Once measured, we deemed him unworthy. Afterburners engaged, we dropped him like a half dollar off the Empire State Building.

On Bull Creek we faced a huge headwind. Hoodie pulled the Renshaw duty, but the best I could do was 33.9mph. After that stretch, I humbly accept that he and AT busted the 40mph barrier. Beast!!

We tooled it team-style until we hit 360. With the wind behind us, we pulled a Max HR finish to a sweet Turkey day 30 miler. Y'all have a great day, and hopefully we see you tomorrow, 8am from LOLA!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Team Bios 2010

AT – aka “Rip Cord” or “AT”. Rip has been riding with the Dough for about a year. RC is all about speed. Never one to leave anything on the table, look for Adam to go out hard and not stop. At least until he pops.  AT has the best collections of any team member, with some of the sweetest muscle cars ever made hanging in his pimped out garage.
Bergamo - Over 6 feet tall, weighing in at around 140lbs, he’s the prototypical cyclist. Pure sandbagger, he also loves the contrast between his motor and his downtube shifting, circa 1987 (purple) Trek frame. Those of us with less in the tank need to lean on technology from the last decade to give us a chance…
BK – Though his participation on group rides is as spotty as an Akorn-created voter registry, BK is a full-fledged spiritual member of the club. He holds to all of the ideals of the Doughboys, which is convenient, since we really have no ideals. For a chuckle, ask him about his Nelo’s bike fit. This guy is funny!
Chad Great guy. Needs to put some air in his tires.
Cheech – On temporary assignment in Jersey, we expect Cheech back in the near future. How many people willingly trade Austin for Jersey? Cheech earned his nickname the hard way, making his bones on a group ride highlighted by an epic Chihuahua launch. Maybe the best story in Doughboy lore. We miss ya Cheech.
Coach– Pater Familias, founder of the Dough.   As interested in Belgian beer as Belgian bikes. Loves to ride. Rides off-road like a Dustin Hoffman character drives. Malo claims to get draft off his calves, which are prodigious, and white as Gollum’s belly.
Craig Allegedly owns a sweet Colnago.  Let’s see it Craig!
Cracker Dough member for about a year. Crack has jumped into the deep end and is still treading water. Second only to Malo in recruits, he has played a big part in driving new members.
DK New member. Strong and reliable. And recently lubed his chain.
Dan DJP is a one-speed rider. Hard to hang with in a sprint, he pops like Mr. Bubble about 10 times on a 40 mile ride. GO! Blow…GO! Blow….GO! Blow… You get it. Dan’s bike cost more than his car. And he got his bike for $250 on craigslist.
Drain-0 Longtime friend and part-time cyclist. He rocks a sweet Orbea, but has been riding sparingly due to his bohemian approach to cycling, and life in general. His warm weather gear is inspirational in its total lack of concern for fashion protocol.
FitzThe Big Tree has become a full-fledge member of the peloton.  Sporting his new Mad One, he looks the part of a Classics rider. George Hincapie maybe? Thanks to Hoodie, Fitz is no longer the go-to draft generator.
HoodieFresh from the bumps in Colorado, the Hoodie is our lead-out guy. At 6’ 8” he creates a vacuum that physicists claim does not exist. Gained his nickname through punishing efforts right outta the parking lot.
Malo – Recruiting leader. Like any consummate salesman, always closing on new members, but rarely gracing us with his presence. Takes the best vacations of any Dough member.
Mauricio Founding Father. Pain-inflictor. Resting HR of a cadaver.  The King of Leisure. The flowing robes, the grace, striking….

Q Converting from MTB, Q is for Qlimb, as in $h!7, that Q can climb! Racing keeps him from regular Dough rolls (Like el Rey), but he is always good for a Lactate threshold ride when he can make it.
Rey - Honorary Dough...too fast for our regular rides. El Rey graces us with his presence between races.
Scheibs
Ex hockey player. Bunny hop skills matched only by Dan.
Stanton College buddy of Mauricio. Rocks a sweet Cervelo. Needs to ride with us more.
TK – Corporate fat cat, renaissance man. TK is a multi-sport guy, recently picking up cycling. Ultra-competitive, we predict pain in all of our futures.
Trent Spiritual member
Ullrich Founding Father. As strong as his German namesake, Ullrich is made for the fall classics. His strength grows as the temps drop and the radiator becomes more efficient. Discovered Mount Fudge over two years ago. Has superhero ability to run at hummingbird-like HR.
VJ Dr Fuentes. Veej is a longtime member of the Dough. Most positive attitude in the Pelo. He secretly desires a carbon upgrade, I am sure of it!
Wulf–  Recently traded in his Fallujah Flyer for a sleek ProjectOne Madone. His recent weight loss triggered a news inquiry into his hunger strike.
Yeti A long-time member of the Doughboys, MC is a core member. He was there pre-jersey. Pre-bib. Pre-sub 40 degrees riding. Renowned for his ability to hibernate.
Z  aka "Stevie Big Ring" recuperating from knee issues. Z is back in the Pelo!

Code of Conduct



1. Thou shalt maintain your line at all times. Regardless of obstacles (nails, traffic cones, Chihuahuas), all Doughboys must respect their line. Slalom riding (aka “Going Wulf”) is strictly forbidden, whether solo or in the peloton.  No talking to stray Aggies while in any Doughboy paceline.

2. Leg shaving is assumed. We are not animals. Once shaven, embrocation application is a logical conclusion. Slather on that gunk, as it will surely add mph to your effort.

3. Official sunglasses of the peloton: We don't care. Just bring your own clean rag on rides. Glasses are to be worn over helmet straps at all times. If your sunglasses were purchased in any “buy one get five free” scenario, it is not approved.

4. Hair shall be kept shorn high and tight. We are not rock stars.

5. When a fellow Doughboy punctures, you are encouraged, but not required, to offer assistance. If requested, you are then required to stop and render aid. If said Puncturee waives you off, you are free to bolt.

6. Kits must always be freshly washed, adherence to the UOD is....who cares, really?

7. In the event a motorist disturbs one’s ride:  proceed to ride up beside the car, form a clenched fist and bang the hell out of the car while doing your best Italian. Wild arm and head movements (“Gesticulation”) are strongly encouraged to enhance the apparent rage. If in doubt, consult Ine of many of our hotheads on this protocol.

8. Pre-ride Coffee is a game starter and must be consumed STRONG (e.g. espresso) on a patio in Briancon in full kit; like your ladies, it shall be drunk BLACK.

9. When passing a fellow Dough on climbs, it is good form to make idle conversation, particularly if said teammate is in severe oxygen debt. This builds team unity.

10. When asked "how are you?" while riding one must proceed with one of the following...
i. Complain about the last five pounds you still need to lose
ii. Explain that you are riding endurance pace
iii. Mention that this is a "recovery ride" if you are really slow
iv. Explain that one is at the tail end of one’s daily six (6) hour training ride, which is likely true


11. When trying to make weight, use of prepackaged foods that could withstand direct nuclear assault without degradation in nutritional value are highly encouraged. For access to such performance enhancers, consult with either Fitz or Dr Fuentes.

12. Ownership of a sizeable parrot, casually outstretched index finger or upon  the shoulder,  is encouraged. The parrot should either be white or it should contain three (3) or more colors found within the World cup stripes. One must always smile when pictured with the parrot. The parrot should either speak fluent Italian, or do a pitch-perfect Rick Perry.

13. Doughboy minimum temperature – 27 degrees. Unless you have lost your man card. In this unusual circumstance, you are permitted to waive off rides under 45 degrees, which will give you more time to catch up on those Project Runway episodes you have DVR’d.

14. Please maintain decorum at all times during group rides. Should you suffer a momentary loss of composure, such moment will be retained theretofore in Doughboy lore (eg “Mount Fudge, Panozzo Point, Big Tree Roll, etc).

15. Futile chases of obviously superior cyclists are required. This behavior is the foundation of our  culture, and shall be encouraged, especially on recovery rides.

16. When training for a long ride, constant reference to such commitment is strongly encouraged. Such conversation stimulates the adrenal gland of non-participants, enhancing team unity.

17. When assuming the duties at the front of the paceline, there is a “three crank minimum” before dropping back. If you have not pulled for any portion of the ride, note that everyone in the paceline notices said lack of effort. Wheelsucking is discouraged in all but survival situations. When survival is on the line, who cares anyway?

18. When confronted with angry dogs, the proper protocol is to put at least one Doughboy between you and said frothing canine. This is known as the “Perkins Maneuver”. This move also encourages team unity.

19. On large group charity rides, if your goal is total flameout, keep pace with Mauricio. If you are more interested in orderly procession to the finish line, pace MC. If you need any in-ride pharma, consult Dr Fuentes

20. OBEY ALL TRAFFIC LAWS. Disobey at your own personal risk (financial and otherwise). We do not tolerate scofflaws in the HCD. PROBATION REQUIREMENT: Those with current moving violations are required to pull the paceline for 3 months post-citation.
21. Conversation amongst the Peloton is strongly encouraged. We are a social group. However, obey rule#1 lest lost concentration lead to bone crunching consequences. Discussion about carpet and cuffs is prohibited amongst group members, but acceptable if posed toward those both outside your gender and the club.
22. No Dough over the age of 30 will ever use emoticons — no colon parentheses smiley faces, no fancy bracketed mustaches, no semi-colon hotwinks.  Punishment is Beauford repeats.
23. On descents, Dominate the Downhill.
  

Monday, November 22, 2010

Turkey Day Reflections

Dough Nation, as we approach our annual day of thanks, I have taken it upon myself to proclaim thanks to the Club.  I am thankful for:

1. Tailwinds, as they make me feel closer to God.
2. Hoodie, who creates a vacuum that feels like a sunroom.
3. Long descents
4. Post-ride double espresso
5. AT's seemingly endless ability to attack
6. Malo's commitment to recruit new Dough
7. Ullrich's Spicewood paceline
8. Fitzy's always positive vibe
9. VJ's bag o' pharma
10. Panozzo's effortless expertise
11. Wulf's anal dedication to finishing at a whole number
12. MC's arm warmer/sling
13. Bergamo's downtube shifter
14. BK's sarcasm, as it makes me look like Polyanna
15. Tim and Dan K, who aren't common law, but always show up together.16. Drain-o's fashion sense
17. Dan's bunny hop skills
18. Scheible's hockey stories
19. Rey's commitment to Cross, as his presence in our pelo would only increase my pain
20. Stanton's Cervelo, one of the few bikes that gives me a wandering eye.
21. Q's climbing skills, which ultimately relieve me of Panozzo chasing duties, as they both get real small real quick...
22. Cracker's travel schedule, which makes me jealous
23. Cheech's bike handling skills in the face (literally) of oncoming chihuahuas.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Shiner Ride Debrief - 5/1/2010

Ok, I don’t wanna jinx us, but we just got back-to-back century tailwinds. First it was day 1 of the MS150, and today it was Shiner.

What a solid ride. The cyclists out there were significantly more experienced that the MS (no Ripley’s Believe it or not slo-mo crashes today), and with the tailie, it was a HAMMERFEST!!

DBZ on the ride: Panozz, AT, Ullrich, Me, MC/KC, RR, Vijay (aka Dr Fuentes) and Scheible. Excellent efforts by all. Seriously, the club is legit. We may not be getting our protour cards, but we can hold our own with the rank and file, baby!

Ride Highlights-
Rolled from south Austin, and Panozzo exploded right outta the gate. Of course, AT and Scheibs had to run him down. Initially, I deferred the tongs, but eventually got sucked in. (I am called the greyhound for a reason). Anyhoo, we split the DBZ pelo early, as predicted by MC. It was panozz, me, Scheibs and AT in the breakaway group, and RR, KC/MC, Ullrich and Vijay in the pelo. Note that they were NOT arriere du pelo, as they hammered well all day. (also note that no one DAN-seused during the ride).

Today I realized that I cannot compete in the world of Triathletes. And I am talking about female triathletes. We hooked on the wheel of a group of Tri-glycerides, and they were strong, regardless of gender (or body fat %). It was surreal. Unfortunately, they did not linger at the break station 2, and we lost their ample talents for the remainder of the ride. As usual, Panozz largely dictated the pace, and the rest of us hung on for dear life.

In the pelo, everyone contributed to get the group to the finish line. KC pulled a bit, with MC playing the Hammer of the Pelo for the majority of the ride. Ullrich and Dr Fuente beasted it up as well.

Tons less close calls on ride, but AT did almost get taken out by a twitchy Tri-guy that probably spends most of his bike time at PureAustin in their Spin class. Worst cycling skills ever. We hooked up with some Austin Bike Camp guys, and they were pretty cool.

Beer in Shiner was outstanding, as was the factory tour, due solely to the air conditioning. See Garmin deets with attached link.

Harpoon Debrief 6/19/2010

Hello all. Apologies for any offensive overtones, but I am hopped up on Harpoon Belgian Pale Ale. Post ride spoils for us doing the ultimate job on the hahpoon. We freakin dominated!  Me, Adam, MC and KC woke up at 330am and rolled down to the start. Bagel and cream cheese. Check. Rolled outta the lot at 520, second group. Cadilac roll the first 45, interupted only by a puncture for KC. Btw, she made her bones with the Dough today. Rockin it hard all 148. At mile 24, KC got a pinchie because I failed to yell "Hole!". Sorry KC, but AT was in front of me, and he dooshed the call. To be fair, there were more potholes on this ride than you could imagine. Roads are better in Fallujah (props to Lovell).

Anyhoo, took it real easy to the first climb at 45. 7 miles at 6-8 percent. Ho hum. Stroked it!

Then rollers to mile 91, where we encountered a hill dubbed the "Leviathan" in these parts. Whatever. 8-10 percent for four point five miles. Spun it out. Fellas, in 9 months the Leviathan is gonna give birth to a curly haired red headed kid, cuz I had my way with that beast. The steady diet of Haggis for breakfast culminated in a crescendo of Leviathan Libido (AT wants a DNA test, cuz he thinks the baby is his!). Leviathan? Whatever. All four of us kicked that hill to the curb. One guy sez to KC, "you Texans can climb! No shiite dumbass! These

Side Note: New England Yankees are the worst riders ever. Absolutley no teamwork up here. These guys are consumate wheel suckers, absolutely unwilling to share the load.

Summary: we executed the plan. Reverse splits. AT show restraint never before showcased. MC was beastish, and KC was tougher than 90% of these NE dandie boys. And I finished. Which has been a long time coming!

On the bus to Hub City, basking in beer and endorphins. Like Shoeless Joe said in Field of Dreams "is this Heaven?" Answer: No, it's Vermont, but its damn close!

Have a good ride tomorrow!

No Country For Old Men Ride 2/14/10

Wow. A Chamber of Commerce day to ride in Austin Texas. Great group again this morning, proving that not all of us have fallen prey to the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. And that we have a fairly high number of heathens in the club. Whatever the motivation, the ride started with AT, me, Panozzo, Stanton, Wulf and Don Bergman. This is the last time Don’s name will be last in a ride (or a ride discussion).

Today’s Ride Theme: Cormac McCarthy’s Collected Works, or “Mein Kampf”.

Chapter One: All the Pretty Horses
AT brought doom upon himself this morning, calling for a break from the routine. “No dam loop-grind boys, let’s get out and do something different! Let’s challenge ourselves!” With that inspiration, we headed out south on 360 coasting our respective mechanical steeds all the way to Mopac. I love that stretch. Don (henceforth dubbed “Mein Fuhrer” for reasons that will become apparent) was sporting his new Felt TT bike, and he was aero incarnate. A human/mechanical blade on wheels. Stanton was rocking his sweet Cervelo, Panozz and Wulf on their trusty Treks, AT with his Specialized, and me with the Prince of Rides.

The fun began on SW Pkwy, with Mein Fuhrer deciding to breakaway up to Travis Cook Rd. Panozzo jumped on his wheel. The rest of us just watched. Don dropped Mike on the climb up SW Pkwy. This was Don’s “Munich Putsch”. He was now in control.

Chapter Two: No Country For Old Men
Once reunited with the group, Don started pacing a tempo from Travis Cook up to 290. Collectively, we spoke about 5 words in that timeframe, everyone clinging to the wheel in front of them. Then Don turns around and casually says,
“Is this pace ok?”

Translation: “Macht Schnell! Vee must Ride Fasta!!”

“Javold Mein Furher! I Vill ride fasta!”

 Das Fuhrer had arrived.

At 290, the Wulf punched the eject button, fleeing to Poland, while we made the turn onto Fitzhugh. It sucked to be an Old Guy on this stretch. Trust me.

Chapter Three: The Road
While Fitzhugh did not present an appropriate setting for nuclear holocaust, the effect of our pace created some metabolic apocalypse in the group. AT dropped back, and Stanton and I were gritting our teeth to (almost) keep up with Panozz and MF (by the way, I think AT was calling Don “MF” as well, but it wasn’t Mein Fuhrer…).

Some controversy ensued on our return to Circle Dr, as Panozz and AT got left behind, while they reenacted a scene from Scooby Doo in the UHaul parking Lot. We inadvertently left them, causing more physiological strain on Shaggy and Scooby as they pushed to catch back up. I believe my new moniker (as dubbed by Panozz) is D!@kh#@d.

OFFICIAL DECLARATION: We, the peloton continue to rue the mishap at UHaul and the resultant stress on Mauricio and Rip. Please accept our ever-tumescent apologies.

The final scene of the our story comes on the climb up Barton Creek hill. It was as steep as ever. There was bitter sadness, followed by redemption and an experience that mimicked death. Unlike any McCarthy story, we all made it back alive.

SUMMARY:
Freakin’ great ride! Fast, painful and glorious. Anyone interested in a Tuesday ride?